Sears Saleslady (ringing up kids stuff from clearance racks): "Do you have a Sears Rewards card to save 10% off on purchases today?"
Me (trying to corral rampant 3YO): "No"
SS: "Would you care to sign up for one today in order to save the 10%?"
Me (glancing back at long line): "Uh-no"
SS: "That will be $14.99"
Me (taking out debit card): "OK"
SS: "Are you paying with your Sears Master Card today?"
Me: Um, no I've got this debit-"
SS: "Would you like to take 10 minutes to open a charge card with Sears today?"
Me (starting to sweat with effort of holding onto 3YO's hood and wallet): "No Thanks"
SS: "Are you paying with any Sears Gift Cards?"
Me (swiping DC through): "No"
SS: "Would you like to purchase one and receive $10 back on your purchase today?"
Me (thinking OH MY GOD, IT'S EASIER TO GET THROUGH CUSTOMS IN A COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!!! SWEET JESUS, JUST LET ME BUY MY KID HALF-PRICED "BRAND-NAME" MIX 'N MATCH SEPARATES WILL YOU????) "No. Thank you, not today."
(NOT EVER! UNLESS THERE IS SOMEONE THAT I DESPERATELY NEED TO GET REVENGE ON!)
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